It has been a week since I decided to join the NaBloPoMo March writing challenge on BlogHer. I hadn't been posting regularly and thought it would be a great way to motivate myself. It has been a lot of work! I've spent most of naptime each day writing and reflecting on the daily writing prompts focused on risk. Today's question is Do you always look before you leap?
I just got off the phone with our realtor and set up an appointment to meet about listing our house that I adore and do not have any desire to move from. I'm sure this is part of the reason that I've been feeling so sentimental lately. I've found myself going around the house and taking photos of the way the flowers on the table in the hall look in the afternoon with the sun streaming in on them, or the way that I can see the baby photos of my son on the stairway wall reflected in the kitchen mirror. I regret not having more photos like this of our previous houses and I'm determined not to forget these little details that make me smile. It doesn't seem like I should feel this way. We are a military family. If anything, shouldn't it be getting easier to leave each house? This brings me back to today's question. Is it just that I'm "looking" too much and that is making it hard to prepare for the big leap that I know I'm going to have to make?
I took this picture of my husband jumping off a cliff from the safety of shore. There is no similar picture of me flying through the air because instead of climbing up there and trying it, I let all of the what-if scenarios make me too afraid to. If I hadn't been worried about getting hurt with no access to medical care anywhere within the next several hours, maybe I would have gone for it. (I'm not saying I was wrong in this case as there really was no one or no way to help anyone that got hurt at the swimming spot we were at in this photo.) The point is, for me to take the plunge literally or figuratively, I have to stop overthinking and letting my own thoughts get in the way. As a military family facing yet another move, it becomes necessary to forget that homes have more than just walls and windows and move on to the next chapter without so much melodrama no matter how much my sentimental side wants to create it. We just don't have the luxury of crying over how much we'll miss things that most families probably don't even realize they love about their houses or their towns.
How many experiences do we miss out on in our lifetimes by fretting over the possible outcomes? If I took the time to analyze just how many times I'd actually get together with my neighbors before we were packing up and moving, I might never bother to meet any of them. If I really reflected on how much changes in two years, I might be paralyzed with the fear of what could happen to my family while I no longer live nearby to help them. This type of thinking is what would cause me to fear change no matter how many fun times will come with it. When I see the pictures of our vizsla, Scout diving off the dock at the lake, it amazes me how he took the leap into the water after running from way down the dock after a toy we threw for him. Maybe it has to be chosen carefully but when the moment comes, we need to know it's time to fly through the air just for the fun of it and for the reward that is waiting when we land.